Matriarchal

Posted on Instagram on June 28, 2018

This one, born on a Full Moon, is for the female line.
For those ties forged by blood, ancestry and sisterhood.
For all the strong beautiful unique women that I met in the last years, for the gift they brought me - to see and experience what a powerful thing a woman can be.
It's for the women who feel deep and dream big, and for my swelling heart as I work together with them.
It's for the women who came before me and left me field notes to navigate life - they are artists, poets, writers, singers.
It's for the mostly forgotten women in my own lineage: you may have been deemed unworthy and your life and names may not have been passed down to me, but I see you. I honour you.
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Sky blue and red are colors I associate with Goddess. I can't tell exactly why, it just happens.
A Sleeping Beauty turquoise, two teardrop garnets - sky and blood.
A skull carved in a pearl - the memory and the ancestors.
A brass heart - because of the ability women have to live in their heart space and accomplish incredible tasks following it.
Leaves because of Nature, the great Mother and nourisher.
Snakes, for they belong to Her.
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So much passed through my mind's eye while assembling this. Memories of Mayan iconography together with dreamcatchers.
I can say this one had a mind of its own and basically came forward, demanding the least thinking on my side, and mostly the work of my hands.
I like when it happens. When I am the hollow bone for things greater than me.

Lightkeeper Watcher

Posted on Instagram on June 22, 2018

"Oh no, love, you're not alone
No matter what or who you've been
No matter when or where you've seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain
You're not alone
Just turn on with me, and you're not alone"
(D. Bowie)
💙
This one is a LightKeeper but also a Guardian. She watches with her big eye, staring back at the cruel glowing eyes that make you shiver in the night.
She is made not only of Light, but of Darkness as well - and this gives her the power over it.
She is not afraid of the shadows and she knows them intimately.
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She is a guide in the dark times, holding her little light up.
But she is also holding your hand as you stumble on dark roads, whispering to you...It's ok, I got you, this is nothing new to me, I walked through this already and I know the way.
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She is winged, because birds know of hollow bones, of fragile bodies and of wild flight on impossible winds.
They learn at a young age to take the leap and trust their wings.
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Her light is a tiny, beautiful, beaten quartz point sourced in my mountains. They are rare to come by, they are not mined but found on the ground. I don't wash them, so the Devas of the land can decide to travel with the crystal and its new keeper - the part of the stone set inside the Doll still carries the soil on it.
The battering this tiny quartz took fractured it, giving birth to a miniature rainbow.
She also carries an amethyst turned red for high iron content - the blood, the life force, the ties it forges, the Ancestors always there for us.

Bloodline Wounds II

When you grow up in a dysfunctional family, you kind of take those patterns on yourself - plus, you build new patterns in order to survive it.
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For me it's about feeling inferior, not enough. Feeling like I have to keep my head down or I will be an ungrateful arrogant daughter.
It also includes feeling like I am doomed to live with anxiety and depression and all that circus because my mother, her mother and her grandmother all went through it.
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It also means to always be fine tuned to what others feel or may think, to predict their lashing out. It means to never feel safe and able to take care of myself. It means the need to please, so that I won't be abandoned.
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And so many other things, plus some more I discover as I go through this journey that is therapy work, lol.
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This piece is about going past these patterns. At least, seeing the possibility to do it. Seeing that the power to do it lies in me.
That I can acknowledge the patterns and triggers that make me react as I do, and decide to put new ones in their place.
That I have an alternative. That I don't have to necessarily play this role, if it doesn't fit me.
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The skull for the ancestors, the garnet for the blood.
The Snake and the Butterfly wing as symbols of change.
The leaves, for Nature is the Mother, the one that always embraces and always comforts. The one we all go back to, when our flesh and bones turn to dust.
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Sterling and fine silver, freshwater pearl that I carved, faceted garnet.

Bloodline Wounds

Posted on Instagram on June 21, 2018

This one is about healing the bloodline wounds, at least the part of the healing process that I am going through.
It took over a month for this one to finally be complete - to wait pissed me off, but today I understood I needed this past week in order to give it a meaning.
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So. Bloodline Wounds. Ancestry wounds.
For me right now it's about seeing the patterns that were passed down to me, that I made mine without much thought, and that are causing me suffering. To take responsibility. To see I have the power to change my own behaviour and to affirm my own truth and, by making so, preventing those patterns to go on - and maybe giving healing and freedom to the soul of those who came before me.
I don't plan on kids so I can't say I worry to pass these things on to them, you know...still, it doesn't feel like this work affects only me.
I do the work because I can't keep living this way, because I recognize the need of change in order to function better, yes. But a part of me feels like it isn't only me. Difficult stuff to explain in words heh.
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For me this one is about how it doesn't matter if your whole family always saw women as inferior, needing a man to survive. You can take your power back by affirming that you don't live that belief anymore.
That it doesn't matter if they think that you should bow your head and ask permission for existing because you don't fit their neat box. You can take your power back by affirming your own worth.
That their patterns aren't yours.
And that doesn't mean they will change. They likely won't. You change your reaction to their behaviour and you change your own behaviour just for yourself. You are done expecting something from them - understanding, acceptance.
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By standing tall in what feels right to yourself, you claim back the pieces you betrayed. You become whole, one piece at the time.
It's a damn hard work and it's making me so uncomfortable, while also feeling this new, incredible hint of "comfort in my own skin".
I feel so exposed while I also feel like I am growing a backbone - an armor.
I feel so fragile while I also feel I am getting stronger.
It's confusing as hell. It feels worth it.

Warrior of the light

Posted on instagram on June 16, 2018

"From the moment we are born, people tell us that the world is like this and like that, this way, that way. It is natural that - for a certain period of time - we end up believing what we are told. But we must soon push these ideas aside and discover our own way of living reality." (P. Coelho, Warrior of the Light")
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An armor to find strenght in all that is luminous, the stars, the moon, the sun.
The deep blue of a lapis lazuli, the stone of royalty.
Battered, battle worn, still strong, still beautiful, still worthy.
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May you find the courage to live your personal Legend 💙