Sphenoid Moth

Posted on Instagram on January 27, 2019

Just call me the Bones Lady 🤣🤣🤣
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I finished the first Sphenoid Moth.
I am in love.
I want to make a million of these.
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I love how it looks like a butterfly and anyone seeing it would think it's just that.
But it's actually a bone.
A little secret between me and the wearer 😜
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The bone that sits behind the eyes, seat of the pituitary and pineal gland.
The place of the third eye.
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I was so excited to discover the existence of this bone early this morning. If you missed it, you can go back a couple of posts and read my ramblings 😅
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While creating it, so many thoughts crossed my mind. So many intuitions.
Many feel like those dreams that you can't remember - that are just slightly out of reach. I am confident they will be revealed to me the more I sit with the bones and listen.
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Intuition. Vision. The fact that the only single bone in our cranium looks like a moth (even though they generally say it looks like a butterfly 🤔). The fact that its shape in some way reminds me of the pelvic bone. So that there is a kind of resonance of above-below.
The fact that it holds the gland that regulates so much in our body - and so much that has an influence on how our mind works. On how we react to things.
I read an article mentioning how it's said that by clearing this space, old traumas are removed.
How the optic nerve passes through a hole in this bone.
How some of the parts that work toward swallowing are attached to this bone.
Ramblings, I told you. Still waiting for a clearer vision while I enjoy the whole journey.
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Now around my neck. It feels good to be adorned in bones.

COSMIC SNAKE

Posted on Instagram on January 13, 2019

Five.
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Days passed and I felt stronger.
I could look back and see how much different I had behaved.
In the past I would have been full of xanax and totally powerless in my try to run away from the unpleasant.
I would have felt a victim of bad luck.
I would have been traumatized by the depth of despair and panic.
I would have bent this way and that to beg someone, anyone to comfort and save me.
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I helped myself with meds? Yes.
Made myself numb? Nope.
I sat with my emotions, traumas. I talked to the parts of me. I listened.
I took care of myself the best I could.
I gave love to my work and my work loved me back.
Yes, my OCD has been high. My hands are scraped by too much compulsive washing, my lips are raw from biting. My neck hurts from tension strain. I didn't eat much for a few days cause food scared me.
But I took care of myself the best I could and that made a difference.
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So this piece is something about having confidence, for me...Because I had a vision and no idea how to make it happen. And it involved a lot of silver. Which scares me because hey money! 😅
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This is a well. This is you.
This is an eye, giant cosmic snake eye. Inviting you in. Again, inward.
I chose a clear quartz that is not transparent at all, it seems almost dusty.
Because when we look inside, our waters are hardly clear. They often feel muddy. The treasures to be find inside often seem just like sparks and illusions.
But if you are determined enough to observe, to change perspective, you will spot the opal inside, with its magical rainbow of colors.
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Wrapped around the well is a snake. On the back, I carved a galaxy.
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May you find the courage to sink inside of yourself. May you be brave enough to dive in the deep waters.
May the Cosmic Snake envelope you in her embrace. May you always remind that you belong to the Universe.

NOURISH

Posted on Instagram on January 13, 2019

Four.
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And while I was still on alert, waiting for the next drama to unfold...
While my mom was in full passive aggressive mode and I was still without therapist and I was worried I would not be able to deal with it...
With the list of rings I was expected to be working on...
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I realised it's ok to go inward and nourish yourself.
It's ok to go in the cave with Mama Bear and get some comforting cuddles.
It's ok to take a break from the "should do" and make yourself feel good.
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In my case it's making these pieces that I feel so hard. And it's spinning soft wool while calling the hug of the Grandmothers.
And naps.
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This one is an amber with Snake skin and Bear fur under it. To remind you that it's ok to sink into slow comfort while shedding an old skin. It's right to find comfort in times of discomfort.
The warmth of amber and its connection to the wise wise trees...
Moth wings with eyes on them, moving - wear them open or closed.
In the back again the eye, directed inward, at your heart.
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All hand drawn, cut and carved sterling silver and one of a kind.

MINE

Posted on Instagram on January 13, 2019

Three.
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The night of the New Moon, I was shaken by its powerful energy, and also under the influence of my pms and its crazy hormones.
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But I had managed to stay relatively grounded in the midst of fear. I was hopeful.
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And my mom and bf argued. Loud. .
I was on the couch knitting the anxiety away and I could feel the wave of dread at hearing their voices from the other room.
Stop.
Breathe.
What can you do to help yourself? Knitting is not enough. Ok.
Sit on the bed and bead. Breathe. Wave after wave of panic washing over me.
What are you afraid of? What is this triggering in you?
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"I am afraid they will leave..."
They won't leave. And if they do, you can't control it. But you can control your actions. So now take care of yourself.
I am afraid my mom will try to kill herself like she did when I was a teen because I screamed at her.
Ok stop. We rationalized this. We know that she probably didn't try to kill herself or she would have ended up at the hospital and not simply have given some meds, right? We know it's a false belief they used to keep you under their control. And also...again, you don't have control over others. You did nothing bad.
Breathe. Beads.
I slept in my clothes that night, too afraid to take them off and go under the sheets...
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Something my therapists had told me just a week before: I never made a pendant with a key or a door - we were talking about how I struggle with boundaries.
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After an almost sleepless night I dragged myself to the bench and made this. I hold the key to my heart - to my space. I am mine and I decide what enters and what stays outside.
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Because, you know what was different this time? Instead of going in "mediator mode", trying to make them come to reason and avoid arguments (and being inevitably dragged inside them), I held my own space.
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Taking care of me.
Holding myself.
And this is HUGE for me.
I felt like a bad person, because I was trained to go to the rescue and fix everyone else.
But it also felt like such a big weight I didn't have to carry. And that felt good.
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This necklace is solid and grounding while being minimal.

SELVATICA

Posted on Instagram on January 13, 2019

Two.
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This is the one I will keep for myself - still, sharing her here.
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Day two I was feeling a little less shaken. I had overcome the first day without the tragic scenario in my head happening - like ending up in the hospital with a mental breakdown. I know. I have this huge imagination 🤣
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I went to the bench thirsty for that special calm and focus that comes to me when I create.
I worked on a few commissions. I felt it was my duty.
I got anxious.
I realised I had to follow the creative stream that was keeping me afloat.
A quartz that I hoarded for years. Simple but a little broken inside, with red cracks in the surface.
The Fox.
Fox has been my animal for years but I didn't understand why it would come that day.
Still, I followed the call.
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Snake skin and Fox fur under the quartz. The Moth, again.
Phases of the Moon on the bail - for the Goddess energy that pulls at my hair and I still can't always embrace and surrender to.
And I carved Fox eyes on the back, to look inside my heart with their magic sight.
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The meaning was revealed only a few days after.
"Selvatica" is the female word for "wild" in Italian. My mother and grandmas used to say "you are so selvatica!" if you were kinda...on your own and not easy to control.
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Yes. I am reclaiming my being selvatica. My being myself without compromise, even if you don't like it. Not being servile. Not bending out of fear. Wild and true.